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The Boogie Man is Dead, Now Fear the Goblins

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The Bureau of Protection Against Evil Fairytale Creatures (PAEFC) announced in a news release today that the Boogie Man has been killed.

"This goes to show that the trillions of dollars spent and the millions of innocent lives lost in the years of hunting down this dangerous fairytale creature was worth it," Johnny Truthteller, a spokesman for the PAEFC, said in the news release. "A dangerous creature responsible for many atrocities, including kidnapping young children from their homes and eating them, has been neutralized. For those who have been harmed by this vile creature, justice has been served."

King Barry Goodfellow, the commander and chief of Goodguyland, held a press conference to confirm the news.

"After many, many years of searching, we have finally found this menace to childhood dreaming and put an end to his evil," King Goodfellow said. "This gives all citizens of Goodguyland reason to celebrate. No longer will children have to shake and quake as they hide under their beds for fear that the Boogie Man will jump out of their closet while they sleep. No longer will young people need to be afraid of walking in dark forests at night. Let it be known to all that have suffered due to the actions of this creature that justice has been served."

The Boogie Man was killed in Farawayland where he was hiding in a goblin compound. PAEFC officials claim he was beheaded by the good king's knights in a dangerous military operation that took place in the middle of the night when no one was looking. They were quick to destroy the body so that no one could look at it and bring the magical being back to life.

This good news comes at a time when faith in the leadership of Goodguyland is fading and people are beginning to question the wisdom of keeping so many of our young knights in so many foreign lands around the globe. It is hoped by the political and military leaders of Goodguyland that this will lift the spirits of its citizens and convince them to shut up about all the bad things that are happening due to military operations. It is also hoped that this will take the spotlight off the economic troubles currently being experienced in Goodguyland.

On a related note, in a separate news conference, King Barry Goodfellow said, "This does not mean that we can relax. We must remain vigilant. Alki Goblinia (the organization headed by the Boogie Man before his death) is still operating. We are certain the goblins will try to strike back after the death of their leader. They have managed to get all sorts of dangerous magical weapons that have eluded our magical weapons detectors that have cost the taxpayers of Goodguyland billions of dollars to build. This does not mean that our scientists have failed, only that the goblins are smarter than we thought. Children should still remain cautious and hide under their blankets when they sleep."

When this reporter asked King Barry Goodfellow about the failing economy he said, "The economy is getting better. People are going back to work. The recession ended years ago. We are not in a depression. All indicators are it is growing. Now is not the time to think about the economy. It's time to celebrate. Come on, the Boogie Man is dead. Goodguyland is the greatest place in the universe again. What did you bring up the economy for? Have a drink. Go buy a flag and sing songs about how great Goodguyland is."

There are those who are not so sure about the validity of the reports that the Boogie Man is dead. Some believe he died years ago and the threat of attacks from Alki Goblinia is overblown. They believe that goblins are mostly used by parents to control their children and King Barry Goodfellow to justify a domestic police force that has become increasingly violent against the citizens of Goodguyland who try to exercise their individual rights.

Justin Freeman, president of the Fairytale Disbeliever Committee, said in an interview after he heard the news of the Boogie Man's death, "This is just another distraction. The Boogie Man died long ago and this is a political trick being used to restore nationalism and take the populace's mind off the domestic problems we face. You watch, nothing will change. Our knights will continue to occupy Farawayland. Our military will continue to conduct operations in other foreign lands. People who at one time criticized King Barry Goodfellow will now praise him. People want an excuse to feel good even though our way of life is deteriorating and this story that has been weaved by those who benefit from war gives them the chance to do that."

It is clear that Justin Freeman and others like him think the government made all this up for their own benefit. This reporter thinks we should laugh at them and not even bother to look into the validity of their allegations and accusations. Why think? This is a time to celebrate and forget about our problems.

If you like my writings, I am asking for your help. Please visit my website to see my archived articles and help support me by making a donation. I am also pleased to announce the release of the latest book by Matthew Wayne entitled "The Edge of Sanity." It is also available for the Kobo Vox, at Barnes and Noble and at Diesel. The download for this book is only $2.99. Even if you simply take a moment of your time to download the 20% of the book offered for free that will be of tremendous help to me in gaining exposure for my work which will help create sales. I have also released "The Ouijiers" at For a limited time "The Ouijiers" is available at a cost you set. I ask that if you read it and find it entertaining you pay an amount you consider a fair price for it. You may have to register (for free) with smashwords and turn off the adult filter to see the books.


Comments (2)
  • Anonymous  - The Boogie Man Is Dead

    So your saying it's like Wag The Dogs.


    From following this blogger all of you know what reserve banking is and how it makes the bankers rich on your money. You already know about the multiplier effect of your deposits.

    After the crash, the big banks which were bailed out ate the little banks which were permitted to fail. The BofA, JP Morgan Chase, Wells Fargo, Citicorp banks rule the majority.

    Having eaten the little ones, many of which provided free checking, they have now increased deposits necessary to have free checking to amounts way out of line for the average person.

    Yes, you have to have a checking account..... but..... never leave more than a enough dollars in it to cover the "bank charge." Do not contribute more than necessary to the 90% or more loan out of your deposit funds. Use a local bank or credit union for your checking account.

    NO savings account, NO certificates of deposit, NO to any bank investment. DO NOT put more money in any bank beyond your immediate needs.

    All interest bearing accounts are reported t the IRS. Non interest bearing accounts are not. Is it really worth the 1 1/2% annual interest to show up on their radar.

    They are "good things" IF you pay your balance in full every month. They guarantee that goods you purchase can be returned and your card reimbursed for bad, shoddy, or dishonest purchases.
    BUT, you must pay it in full every month. Do not use a credit card with a fee or other hidden charges.

    Debit cards leave too much of your money in the bank to be used for fractional reserve lending.

    Pay debts with checks, cash or money orders. There are some payday lenders which will sell you money orders with NO markup. $700 money order costs $700.

    Keep cash on hand. $100 bills will buy an amazing amount of labor from your plumber, electrician, small business, etc. You will get a discount for cash IF YOU ASK.

    Make sure you save some excess cash every month. It doesn't have to be much but save some. Use it to buy gold or silver bullion.

    Forget the online gold and silver dealers. You buy gold and silver bullion directly from your local coin dealer. The one who charges you a low premium for your purchase is the one to use.

    Keep your mouth shut and realize that a safety deposit box requires a SSN which makes it available to the IRS and anyone else who knows how to do bank locates.

    What to do with your bullion.

    In the words of Robert Kiyosaki (Rich Dad, Poor Dat) 40 ounces of gold will buy one house.

    Watch the gold/silver ratios. Silver is "appreciating" much faster than gold. Today the ratio is 38:1. Not many months ago it was 60:1.

    You may sell your gold and silver easily back to your coin dealer, or, openly on Craigslist. Just do your exchanges in a public place and be careful. To date I have never run across a bad person when I was selling gold but there is always a first time.

    Get off the grid except for those sources of income which are automatically reported by your employer.

    Get out of the banks except for what service you absolutely have to have.

    These practices will not stop reserve bank lending but will minimize your involvement and contribution.

    Live and be well.


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Last Updated on Thursday, 02 February 2012 22:28